Hello, and welcome to October!
It's officially autumn, the glorious season of cooler mornings, colorful leaves, and an excuse to make pumpkin donut holes for breakfast.
But as much as I love this season of change, I've been thinking about a different kind of change lately: the kind we can't control.
Have you ever had a series of life events that start to feel like a theme?
That's how September was for me, and the life lesson seems to be:
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Learning to Sit with Uncertainty
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My daughter had major surgery this week. Several close family members and friends are dealing with health issues and worrisome test results. And our parentsβ beloved 14-year-old dog is having problems.
If that wasn't enough, we were all warned last month that the entire fate of humanity is at risk.
Anthropic researcher Evan Hubinger said he believes there's a greater than 10% chance that artificial intelligence will "kill all humans within the next decade."
What do you even do with a headline like that?
Coping with the Terrible Unknown
We all have times when life is uncertain, and I confess I'm not very good at the waiting part.
I want answers and timelines. I want to make a plan. I want someone to tell me how this is likely to turn out so I can stop wondering about it.
But, of course, life doesn't work that way.
Sometimes all we can do is wait for the test result, the doctor's appointment, the phone call, or reassurance from the billionaires that they do care about humanity.
So I've been thinking about what it means to continue living well in that uncomfortable space of not knowing.
These are some of the things I'm trying.
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βLess Catastrophizingβ
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I am the Queen of Imagining Worst-Case Scenarios. Give me one solid worry, and I'll write the entire disaster movie in my head.
But I'm trying to quit that bad habit.
Now, when I catch myself imagining everything that could possibly go wrong, I sometimes repeat Rob Lowe's line from Parks and Recreation:
"What if it works out? What if it turns out better than you could have ever imagined?"
Asking "Is there something I need to do today?"
Taking action is my go-to strategy for offsetting worry.
If there's something I can do, I'll draft the plan, make the phone call, pin down the appointment, and ask the hard questions.
But if there isn't a productive task to be done today, perhaps the job is simply to wait.
(Note: waiting is hard.)
Practicing Faith and Hope
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When a loved one is in the operating room and you're praying for a good outcome, faith and hope are put to the test.
Everything hangs in the balance, and the only way through is to try and have faith that all will be well.
You sit by the phone or in the hospital waiting room, and hope and believe and pray and hope some more for the best.
None of this is easy.
Maybe the real lesson I'm learning is that I can live with not knowing, and still try to keep moving forward.
I can lean into faith and hope for the best, instead of worrying about the worst.
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I can wait (if I must!), without having a solid plan or all the answers.
That's probably enough for now.
After all, I have pumpkin donut holes to make.
How About You?
How do you cope when dealing with uncertainty? I'd love to hear what works for you, and share your strategies and stories.
You can hit "reply" if you receive this newsletter via email, or drop me a note at elizagcross@gmail.com if you read it online.
I hope you enjoy these beautiful days of October,
P.S. Tired of reading about the end of humanity? Check out this great Anti-Doomscrolling List of Ideas.
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