Happy September!
I recently did something with the potential to make a full-grown adult feel like an awkward teenager again: I attended my high school reunion in Boulder, Colorado.
When it comes to events where a person might feel self-conscious, I think a high school reunion lands somewhere near the top of the list.
There are the Happy Hour conversations where we try to recap our meaningful life accomplishments since graduating.
We wonder if the bullies have mellowed, whether the cool people will still gather in a clique, and if the former geeks are now all billionaires.
And of course, there are the inevitable comparisons about how we look now compared to our senior photos.
What if we don't recognize each other? (Will we need our reading glasses to see the name tags?)
On the bright side, at least we don't have to worry about getting asked to the prom.
In the week leading up to our class reunion, I was excited but also a little nervous.
Just like in high school, I found myself obsessing a bit over things like my hair and clothes.
Shallow concerns like my appearance shouldn't matter at this stage of my seasoned, wise maturity (ha!), but somehow they still did.
That's when I remembered an Oprah interview I watched years ago, with author Jessica Seinfeld.
Changing Perspective
I'm paraphrasing, but during the interview Jessica said she initially felt nervous about appearing on the show (and who wouldn't, right?)
So instead of worrying about how she would look or sound on camera, she decided to concentrate during the interview on what she could give to the audience.
Shifting her focus to other people calmed her nerves, and the interview was great.
Looking Outward
That idea stayed with me as I headed to the reunion.
If I was feeling self-conscious, I knew there was a pretty good chance that other people were feeling the same way.
So during the events (as the "oldies" music from our era played in the background), I tried to simply engage with people, ask questions, and really listen.
It wasn't anything extraordinary, but that small shift away from myself helped me enjoy the weekend so much more.
How About You?
Have you ever attended a business networking event, tried speed dating, had a mammogram or prostate exam, or gone to a high school reunion where you felt self conscious?
What strategies helped you cope?
I'd love to hear and share your stories, so reply to this newsletter or drop me a note at elizagcross@gmail.com.
Meanwhile, I hope you enjoy these beautiful September days.
Warmly,
